The point is, people watch porn. And yet the only times people admit this truth hands-on is either on the internet, in anonymous capacities, or when they're purposefully being self-deprecating. Oh, and when they're men.
- Porn is embarrassing.
- We should be embarrassed of porn.
1. It's embarrassing because you don't want people to know that you're sexually active on your own, you don't want people to assume they think you're pathetic or weird or a pervert. You don't want to get caught out and you don't want to admit that watching a video of two (or more) people going at it turns you on because ew.
Solution: They're totally watching it too, they're just better hypocrites than you are. Also buy some Porn Headphones.
2. We should be embarrassed of porn, because despite it simply being a visual depiction of a natural (mostly, there's some weird stuff out there) sexual act, it's awful.
At risk of inciting feminist hatred, I'm going to quote my favourite feminist on this matter.
In a world where you can get a spare kidney, a black-market Picasso, or a ticket to a ride into space, why can’t I see some actual sex? Some actual fucking from people who want to fuck each other? - Caitlin Moran How To Be A Woman
Porn sucks. The music, the heavy eyeliner and fake tan, the creepy set ups. I would ask who actually gets off on that stuff, but it appears to be working well enough to spawn a mutli-billion dollar industry, and hey, who am I to judge your tastes.
On the darker side, we should be embarrassed because it's intrinsically unethical. Not all of it, and not the act of watching it. But you'd be surprised how much child porn [edit: link to BBC news article on increase of child porn allegations] there is, how damaging "revenge" porn is, and how many people are involved non-consensually- from "upskirt" shots to rape. Links are SFW.
Solution: Buying some special porn headphones isn't going to solve this one. People aren't, unfortunately, going to stop downloading unethical porn just because I've written a blog about it. But a conversation I had on campus with some friends about Lad Mags got me thinking.
What if Lad Mags were able to go the extra mile, and were allowed to publish free porn videos on their website? That way, there'd be editorial control over who was involved and how ethical the scenes are. They could be as explicit as ever- I wouldn't suggest all explicit porn be banned- and would make money the same way other free porn sites do, through advertising and "pro" membership.
Editorial control would ensure consenting partners earned a fair wage and were over eighteen, and could even be in charge of quality control- no unnatural orange tans here thank you. This kind of "healthy" porn would be less embarrassing (sort of) to admit to watching, and would tip the balance of what is ethically acceptable online in our favour. As a consumer of porn, you'd feel slightly less guilty because the site you're watching doesn't link to, or involve any unethical videos/images. Sure, the bad stuff would still exist, but if there were less of an audience for it, there'd be less production of it.
I don't think we should go the full mile and ban violent porn like Iceland, simply because people will want to watch it anyway, and they'll find a way. But if it was regulated- in terms of people involved, not in how explicit it is- then we could potentially be one step closer to a porn industry we wouldn't be ashamed of.
Solution: Buying some special porn headphones isn't going to solve this one. People aren't, unfortunately, going to stop downloading unethical porn just because I've written a blog about it. But a conversation I had on campus with some friends about Lad Mags got me thinking.
What if Lad Mags were able to go the extra mile, and were allowed to publish free porn videos on their website? That way, there'd be editorial control over who was involved and how ethical the scenes are. They could be as explicit as ever- I wouldn't suggest all explicit porn be banned- and would make money the same way other free porn sites do, through advertising and "pro" membership.
Editorial control would ensure consenting partners earned a fair wage and were over eighteen, and could even be in charge of quality control- no unnatural orange tans here thank you. This kind of "healthy" porn would be less embarrassing (sort of) to admit to watching, and would tip the balance of what is ethically acceptable online in our favour. As a consumer of porn, you'd feel slightly less guilty because the site you're watching doesn't link to, or involve any unethical videos/images. Sure, the bad stuff would still exist, but if there were less of an audience for it, there'd be less production of it.
I don't think we should go the full mile and ban violent porn like Iceland, simply because people will want to watch it anyway, and they'll find a way. But if it was regulated- in terms of people involved, not in how explicit it is- then we could potentially be one step closer to a porn industry we wouldn't be ashamed of.
I like that you braced this subject, and I agree on some issues, but I wanted to throw these points out there if you don't mind.
ReplyDelete1) jumping from regular porn to child porn in 1 paragraph is inappropriate. Some of us are porn addicts, but we are NOT paedos. The main sites do not link to under-18 material, as far as I know. Not that I've particularly looked. 2) I took a leap of faith with the "how much child porn" link there. I was relieved it was the BBC's site. particularly with a description like that, I'd want a warning of what I was clicking on. 3) I don't know who signs up for those "pro" membership schemes when so much of it is free anyway. In fact, I don't get how the industry is standing at all. 4) I can see lads' mags changing dramatically over the next few years as you suggest, but why would someone go to their website to see something that can already be found in abundance on the likes of Pornhub? 5) It's interesting reading about a girl's perspective on porn. It's a huge problem for a lot of men. Time we all started talking about it without sniggering.
Thanks for writing this. Interesting points.
Hi Patrick, thanks for the comment!
Delete1- I appreciate the jump may seem inapproproiate, but the point stands. While people may not explicitly look for porn involving a minor, many mainstream porn sites do indeed link/feature to such content. The BBC article is proof of that.
2. Thanks for the feedback, I'll an an edit in now.
3+4. People must, or at least they make a fortune from ads. I'd (optimistically?) suggest people would go to them because they were intrinsically more ethical (courtesy of participation control) and because the quality was better- "people who WANT to fuck each other".
5. Thanks, and I wholeheartedly agree. It shouldn't be embarrassing, and it's a shame it's been allowed to deteriorate to the state it has simply because we've been to shy to discuss it like adults.
Thanks for reading and for your comment!